By JOY L STALNAKER

Children Are a Commitment

I received an e-mail from an out-of-state subscriber last week. He was wondering about our paper’s policy of publishing birth announcements regardless of the parents’ marital status.
There is a definite increase in the number of unmarried couples who either choose to have children or co-habitate without precaution and have children.
I have a step-son whose significant other was with child. As they discussed marriage with family members, the mother-to-be said, “It takes commitment to be married. After all, anyone can have a child.”
My argument to her was: “It also takes commitment to have a child: the commitment to provide food, clothing and shelter; to offer guidance and support; and to be there when they are sick or lonely or are in need of love and care. To me, having a child is about the biggest commitment one can make.”
They ultimately decided to marry. Did they have the commitment necessary to make it work? No. The marriage ended in divorce 4 or 5 years latter. Did they have the commitment to their unborn child? While they didn’t always do as I would have them to do, they were, for the most part, good parents. Their child is now a mother herself. . . and, like her parents, she’s doing things backward. She will be married in May.
How do we break that cycle? I don’t have the answers. I wish I did.
As parents, we worked hard to teach our children right from wrong. Were we always successful? Obviously not! Our children, like children everywhere, were influenced by the changing mores of society. We did our best as they were growing up. Sometimes our best was just not good enough!
However, not all young people follow that pattern. Thank heavens!
Actually, I just became a great-grandmother for the second time last Friday. Robert Darrell Maxwell was born on the very snowy morning of Friday, February 26. And, I can vouch that his parents, Steve and Jenna Maxwell, are very much married. Robbie joins big brother Nicholas Scott and together they make one happy family.
And, now, about publishing the births of children born to unwed parents: A birth announcement is meant to honor the child, not the parents. Children are not responsible for the actions of their parents. I say to Editor Bob, “Let’s continue to publish them provided they follow the paper’s policy. That policy, in cases where the parents’ last names are different, requires that the information must be accompanied by a document signed by the father giving his permission for using his name.

Winter is about over, thank goodness! Sunny weather is predicted for this weekend! and Spring is just three weeks away! If you are like me, you can hardly wait!
The guys and gals at the West Virginia Department of Highways have done a great job of keeping our roads cleared. Thank you, each and every one.
Blessings to each of you, dear readers!